Enough
by awordycontradiction
Summary: She had no idea what to say to any of them – especially him. Which was probably the reason why he sat at the bay window, looking up at her with wonder, like he was seeing Riley Matthews for the first time.


Riley dropped onto the couch, letting out a deep sigh. Not a moment later, Maya curled up on the cushion next to her. Riley threw her head back, blowing brown hair out of her eyes.

"Your mom is evil," Maya mumbled, her elbow just missing Riley's cheek, as she turned to face her best friend.

Riley nodded, pulling her long legs up. One rested against Maya's knee. Their matching Christmas pajamas looked cozy, purple and blue – a traditional gift from the Matthew's. Auggie ran screaming from the kitchen, opening the front door as his red pajamas ruffled with his movement. The girls ignored him, feeling similarly.

Topanga stopped her son. With a sweep of her long hair and a calculated eye roll, Auggie bowed his head and marched back to the kitchen, to rearrange the cereal cabinet. New Years Day always meant _Cleaning Day_. If Katy wasn't up in the Poconos with Shawn, Maya wouldn't be subjected to the torture Riley always complained about.

"Riley, please bring me the broom," Topanga asked, moving the refrigerator on her own.

Blanching, Riley quickly jumped up, running to the hall closet. Maya groaned, her face smashing into the seat Riley vacated.

"Maya?" Topanga called, sweetly, "Maya could you go up to the roof and grab the lights?"

Perking up, Maya nodded, "Sure, Mrs. Matthews!" she grabbed her coat and boots before dashing through the door to the elevator. She knew a break when she got it.

Riley watched her go, smiling. New Years Eve was torture, if she was honest with herself. She handed over the broom and crossed her arms, looking at the shimmering pipe-cleaner clock that now leaned against the back of the couch. Farkle caused an explosion at midnight, when he told her secret. Confessing her feelings would be one thing, but having them blatantly thrown out into the wind – in front of everyone Riley knew, wasn't a great feeling.

Luckily, or inevitably, Maya pretended that it didn't matter, and for the meantime, Riley was fine with pretending it didn't either. After Lucas left, just as dazed, Maya made a big show of yawning, and stretched her arms. She said she was tired and went to bed. Riley stayed on the rooftop for some time after – outlasting the New Years fireworks and most of the city that never slept. She wished for a while, as she shivered in her coat, for Maya to run back up to the roof and yell at her. She wished for Lucas to come back and confess how relieved he was that Riley didn't actually think of him as a brother, that they really felt the same. She wished for Farkle to call, apologize and already have a plan set to fix everything.

But there Riley was, New Years day in her purple pajamas, leaning against the refrigerator, alphabetizing magnets – nothing settled.

"Mom," she yawned, after all the magnets were in their proper place, "I'm going to go change quick, so I can take out the trash."

Topanga wiped her brow, "Good idea," she then looked across at her son, legs crossed on the floor, munching on cereal. "Auggie!" she snapped.

Riley didn't wait around. She quickly ran to her room. As she walked down the hall, she heard her father in his bedroom, giggling on the phone. She rolled her eyes, knowing that Shawn called about an hour ago. She pulled out her own phone from the small breast pocket. She debated calling Farkle. He deserved more than Riley's anger. He wanted everything to go back to normal, like Riley. He was scared and confused and worried. So was she. She paused at her door, scrolling through her call log, to his name. But, should she talk to Maya first? After all, this effected her more. Riley shook her head, stuffing the phone back in her pocket. Maybe she'd call him later, after her mother deemed the house _clean_. Maybe they could meet up at the cafe and talk about things – _with_ Maya.

If Riley was being honest, the one person she didn't want to talk to about this was Lucas. The look in his eyes when he left – it made it hard to fall asleep. Even with Maya next to her in bed, _her_ heart breaking. Riley huffed, turning the doorknob. This was why she kept her feelings hidden. She had no idea what to say to any of them – especially him. Which was probably the reason why he sat at the bay window, looking up at her with wonder, like he was seeing Riley Matthews for the first time.

"Lucas," she whispered, eyes darting around her room. He was known to climb a fire escape, and seeing him there, Riley grew less surprised by the second. Of course he would come.

Lucas' foot stopped tapping against Riley's rug and he stood, more confused and unsure than Riley had ever seen. Lucas was the one who understood himself and others. He was the calming, dependable voice of reason. He couldn't be adrift. The odd look in his eyes forced Riley's heart to sink faster. _She_ did that.

"You lied to me, Riley." he said, more sure than his eyes.

His strong words almost belied his wary demeanor. Riley sucked in a breath, looking towards him.

"I did."

Lucas tore his hands from his jacket pockets, throwing them up in defeat. "Why?" he demanded, quietly.

"Why would you tell me you love me like a brother and tell me to go out with Maya when that's not how you feel?"

Riley looked down. He was angry and he wasn't sugarcoating it for her. She couldn't slip into Riley Town, dream of rainbows and kittens, when real life was such a mess. She couldn't sugarcoat it for herself, either. She messed things up.

"Maya likes you. She cares about you and I know you care about her, too."

Lucas nodded.

"And I love both of you, and I want you to be happy."

Running a hand over his face, Lucas sat back down on the cushion he vacated. She glanced at the door, terrified Maya would storm in any second. Riley waited a moment before joining him. The look in his eyes made her believe if Maya _did_ walk in, she'd see how angry he was. She crossed her ankles in her ridiculous plaid pajamas and waited for Lucas to yell at her again. She waited for him to tell her that Riley lying was the best thing that could have happened. That he really did care about Maya – and he wanted to be with her. Riley could take it. What she couldn't take was Lucas denouncing everything she worked for. She couldn't look into his eyes, see what she tried to ignore, and have to break both their hearts all over again.

"I do care about Maya. She's great – Once you get passed all the sarcasm and anger."

Riley smiled sadly, looking up at Lucas, bracing herself.

"But, you took the choice away from me, Riley." Lucas frowned. "You decided what should happen without my say or Maya's." he looked down. "Just like Farkle took yours away."

Wincing, Riley knew he was right. After she figured everything out in Texas – once she realized Maya liked Lucas and convinced herself that Riley really didn't have feelings for him, it was easy to follow suit. It was more than she could handle and instead of fixing it then and there, Riley plastered a smile and bottled her feelings up.

She gave Maya what Riley thought she wanted. She pushed herself as far away from the situation as she could without losing them, and pretended that everything was okay – even if seeing them together crushed her blissful optimism. She was okay if they were happy. Farkle ruined it. She sighed, running a hand through her hair. Farkle only told everyone because Riley couldn't be honest with the ones she loved. But, she could be honest now.

"That wasn't the only reason," Riley mumbled. "I mean, Maya likes you, and she's liked you since the beginning. I ruined that for her, because I liked you too."

Lucas looked at Riley with a heaviness in his green eyes.

"And, I know how relationships go, and things don't always work out. I can't lose you as a friend, Lucas. And if that's all we can be, to make sure you stay in my life – then I'm honestly okay with that."

Lucas pressed his lips together, looking at his hands. "You think we wouldn't be friends anymore if we liked each other?"

Riley shrugged. "It's possible. It happened to my Uncle Eric's friend."

"That doesn't mean it would happen to us. We _are_ friends, Riley."

"I know that."

"No, I mean, even before you pushed me away. We liked each other and we were friends. So, we weren't ready for the next step. That doesn't mean it couldn't happen. It just means we weren't ready. We don't have to be. We have all of high school to figure it out. All of our lives, really. I'm not planning on never speaking to you again."

"But it does happen. People grow apart."

Lucas nodded. "And sometimes they don't." he sighed, looking at Riley's rug. "I was willing to take that chance with you."

At his words, Riley squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't block Lucas out, not completely. But she couldn't let him influence her. Not when her best friend was up on the roof, miserable, wondering what the new year would bring.

"You and Maya –" Riley paused, sucking in a breath, "Everyone at school was right." she whispered miserably. "You guys have _Fi-yah_ or whatever."

He laughed, the motion caused his shoulder to brush Riley's. Even with his coat and Riley's thick purple top, she felt the static pulse of him course through her. She didn't dare look up, even after she heard his breath catch in his throat. Quickly, she tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Maya is great, Riley. You know that more than anyone." he said.

She nodded, once again thinking of Maya pretending it didn't matter, Christmas lights coiled around her on the cold roof.

"And I've made my choice."

Riley felt Lucas' warm hand on top of hers before she registered his words. Slowly, she looked up. Dark eyes meeting lighter ones. There was emotion there, and she was terrified, not sure of _who_ that emotion was for. She imagined her eyes remained blank and guarded, not giving away her hopefulness or the longing to grab his hand and pray it wouldn't be so awkward this time.

Lucas Friar looked at Riley and the world didn't combusted. But, she feared her heart might.

"My choice is friendship," he said.

Riley's lashes fluttered, confused for a moment.

"You're right, Riley. We're all friends and even though I like you and I probably could like Maya – I'd rather us all stay exactly how we are. I'm not going to be in the middle of you two. You're best friends, and I'm not that guy. I don't want to be that guy, Riley."

"So," Riley said, slowly, "You're saying that you're choosing you?" the chains around Riley's heart weakened, loosening their hold a fraction.

She smiled like an idiot. Lucas did, too.

"It looks that way." he agreed, finally wrapping his larger hand firmly around Riley's.

Riley liked the way his hand fit in hers now. It wasn't heavy with a goodbye or a hello, but a constant. A promise of support that Riley desperately needed. His thumb brushed her knuckles and Riley grinned, hesitating a moment before she laced her fingers through his. It felt right – it wasn't weighed down with ultimatums or subtext from English literature. Lucas smiled at Riley.

"And, I'm not saying that we'll always be friends or be just friends. But, for now, you're right. It's enough."

Riley nodded, her smile threatened to crack her face. "It's more than enough." she whispered, as Lucas grinned at her. His bright green eyes finally serene.

"Yo! Riley!" Maya yelled from behind her bedroom door. "Are you decent?"

Riley flinched, her hand dropping Lucas' in a panicked spurt of energy. Lucas looked anxious, but still calm. He stood from the window seat, nodding at Riley as she stalked across the floor to open the door. With a cautiously guilty smile, the brunette opened the door. "It's not what you think." she said, with a small, nervous laugh.

Maya barreled through, thick brows furrowed until she saw Lucas and understood. Her shoulders dropped a fraction.

"Hi," Lucas said.

"Hey," Maya answered, slowly.

Lucas looked passed Maya, nodding at Riley. "Hi,"

Riley leaned against her open door, smiling again. "Hi."

The trio stood in substantial silence for a moment.

"Hey, Riley." Lucas said, sitting back down at the bay window. "Do you mind if I talk to Maya for a second."

Shaking her head, Riley started walking backwards out the door. "Of course not." she waited until Maya sat next to Lucas at the window before shutting the door.

She leaned against it, eyes closed. She had to trust Lucas and her own feelings. Friendship was for the best – but when Maya looked at him like that, Riley feared he might start to fall for her, like he said he could.

"I thought you were getting dressed." Topanga appeared, the small vacuum cleaner dragging behind her.

"Oh, Mom, I – "

Sighing, Topanga handed the vacuum off to her daughter. "I need you to vacuum outside the front door. There's an outlet by the elevator. Don't forget the walls!"

Riley groaned, realizing that surviving a complicated friendship was no match for surviving her mother. She glanced back at her room once more, wondering how Maya was going to take this, and if Lucas was going to hold her hand, too. She wanted to pop back in, just for a second – but Auggie screamed again, and this time Cory ran out of his room, looking for a fire. Riley rolled her eyes, dragging the vacuum down the hall, to do as she was told. Everything would work itself out. That's what the new year was for.


End file.
